Zeus Exploits

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. It's better to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, with body totally worn out and screaming ~"WOO HOO what a ride!"

My Photo
Name:
Location: Granite Bay, CA

Work hard, play hard, be the best that you can be and when you can't - laugh!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Catholic School Stories: The Paper Drive & Playboy Magazines

Back in the early 70's, my 8th grade class was sponsoring a paper drive to raise money for the class and school. First I will describe my Teacher. Here name was Sister Agnes Jean. Does Agnes sound like a nice name to you? She hated anything male.

One day at the end of class, Sister Agnes Jean said we, the boys she hates, had to go over to the "Rectory" (the Priest's house which should have the name changed) and get all of their newspapers and bring them over to a staging area next to the Nun's car port! We used one of those flat bed dollies to tote over the papers. We ended up with about six tall stacks and as we rolled the papers across the parking lot/play ground to the Nun's garage, the papers began to slide because of the vibration.

OH HAPPY DAY! We caught the papers too late before they slid onto the asphalt. The papers in one of the stacks that were left on the dolly weren't papers at all. There to the surprise and joy of a dozen 8th Grade Catholic Boys were 3 Playboy magazines!

We finished picking up the papers off the ground and quickly rolled it over to the side of the Nun's car port. With everyone cleared out after school, we stood around "reading the articles" from our new found magazines! Then one of the guys decided a fun little stunt would be to put up the Centerfolds on the inside of the Nun's car port! Oh, did the shit hit the fan!!!!

The next morning, Sister Agnes Jean, in her more than usual surly demeanor, asked the girls in our class to step outside and close the door. Once gone, Sister then paced the front of the class like the Nazi she was. Slowly, in a terse voice, she discussed the finding of the Playboys in the paper stacks. That's where we left them. She asked who put them up inside the car port. No one answered as she expected. She then went on to explain that the reason the Priest had the magazines was to review the material so that they could address pornography in their sermon on Sunday. --- You have to understand, she could be so menacing we never questioned her, or her explanation. She went on to say that this conversation would stay in this room and if heard anywhere else, we would pay dearly. None of us did. So, here it is,(please God let her be dead)I have revealed this story at last.

5 Comments:

Blogger September said...

Sister Agnes Jean is my aunt.....

ok, not. LOL - that was so funny. The 70s were the best! What you described reminds me of something that could easily be in a movie scene. Thinking "Milk Money" or something like that.

:) I've enjoyed reading your blog.

4:02 PM  
Blogger September said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:02 PM  
Blogger September said...

sorry about that - it posted twice so I removed one.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Zeus said...

Sept - thanks for reading. Catholic school and restaurant business provide a load of stories. I hope I can get some more down. Happy Tuesday!

10:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you go to St. Clement's in Venice, Ca? If we're talking about the same Sister Agnes "Bitch on Wheels" Jean - she died in 2003 and is buried in Indiana. Too far to travel to piss on her grave.

8:54 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home