Zeus Exploits

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. It's better to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, with body totally worn out and screaming ~"WOO HOO what a ride!"

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Location: Granite Bay, CA

Work hard, play hard, be the best that you can be and when you can't - laugh!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

A Waiter's Story of a Tip!

OK - I've got to tell you my story from many years ago, 1981 to be exact. I worked in Portland, Oregon at restaurant that was on the Willamette River near downtown. It had floor to ceiling windows for a great view from tables that everyone wanted.

I had one of those tables clear and a 4 top sits down. Two young, slightly intoxicated couples sit down boy, girl, boy, girl. After I greet them, they happily let me know they've been kicked out of 2 restaurants already that night. Me, who can handle anything, thinks, bring it on. Of course this is an upscale family restaurant and I had other normal customers surrounding this table.

I managed to keep them under control for most of the evening. Then one of the women, girlfriend 1, starts asking me what I would like for a tip, as she licks her lips! The guys, actually brothers, don't seem to care. Hmmm...I think, maybe this won't be a bad table afterall! Young male waiters, as I remember, never had high standards or morals - I fit the mold.

Engergized by the woman's proposition and the fact that they had almost driven out the last of my surrounding tables, I finally thought my "tip" was coming. Then, as I was talking to them,trying to keep them under control, brother 1 responds to something brother 2 says by playfully stabbing him in the crotch with a steak knife. Brother 2 over dramatizes the fake stab and reaches over to girlfriend 2 and asks her to make him feel better. Then Brother 2 leans back in his chair and unzips his pants. He pulls out the supposedly damaged unit and girlfriend 2 promptly bends over and kisses briefly back to health. "Does that make it feel better?" she asks? Then, they all just sit their smirking in their unabashed glory. I left after that not knowing exactly how to react.

It was now time to let them go. I went and got their $67.00 check and dropped it off. I had to run upstairs to the bar for something and when I return, "surprise", they've left without paying. I ran out to parking lot looking for the payment and, of course, my "tip". I was going to get the "tip", right? I saw them at the far end of the parking lot stubbling towrad their car. I didn't make a habit of chasing down dashing diners, but I felt I kind of knew this group and approached them nonchalantly. They had no cash and ended up writing me a check for the bill with my "tip" included. Girlfriend 1 showed no signs of remembering her licked lip offer of a tip. I should have asked but I was now just hoping to cover the bill considering or else I would have had to. They gave the check and a tip.......drum roll please..... a check for seventy dollars. That was two dollars and some change for an evening that I'll never forget.


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